Meditations on Gertrude More

On Dame Gertrude More’s First Confession:

Infinite,

We each search for you with our body and soul, knowing that a life with you demands obedience, poverty, and chastity in all things, including the desire for knowledge. So much of your truth lies at the intersection of two or more realities, clothed in contradiction and paradox.  We strive to know you, and to stay humble on the journey, but we have from you, Eternal, minds that crave, and fear, and crave again the hidden mysteries of the universe. Remind us that the more we know, the more there is to know, and so keep us humble and full of wonder.

It’s so easy to put trust in the wrong place. I will rely on your answers only, Infinite, and will find you in the luminal place between silent prayer and benediction. If I have the strength to listen; if I can, through unforced concentration, find the peace where you are, there will, in that moment out of time, be grace.

Amen.

*****

On Dame Gertrude More’s Second Confession:

Infinite,

It is so hard to let go of everything we have achieved in this world, to give everything away and follow you. We spend a lifetime seeking recognition; told from so young that success is a good and necessary thing. But everything was always yours: the accolade, the harvest, such as it was, was never mine to keep. But it really did feel good in the moment and left me wanting more. Aren’t I meant to act in the world, to build Jerusalem here in this place? Doesn’t the praise of good people matter?

When my free will is bound with yours; when my will is moved by your purpose in the world, not mine; then, and only then, I can act to your glory. There is no other goal than yours worth my attention. This is a unity I crave with you; that with common purpose, I can be an instrument of your sacred magic in this place.

Teach me to recognize the difference between my needs and yours. I am so easily misled, by my own restless mind. Pour me out, and fill that void with you. I started this life so capable of your love—find me again, and I will so run to you.

Amen.

*****

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